Drama Queen

I wanted to share my piece and the artist statement I completed in September for the annual invitational art show, this year entitled "A Curiosity of Doors." The work is acrylic on a wooden door, with watercolor on paper behind the glass of the door's window.




“Drama Queen”

During the last couple of years, I have become a serious poker player. My game is cash Texas Hold’em. The joy I get out of the game has even surprised me. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I play so avidly and I can only surmise that it comes from the fact that each game contains a novel’s worth of drama.
Yes, poker challenges my brain. It makes me think both mathematically and psychologically. My ageing brain needs the workout to stay even. It is frightening to age and lose that part that makes us ourselves. Poker is my brain workout.
Yes, poker serves the need I have to compete. I am unabashedly competitive. This part of me has made me a successful athlete, scholar, businesswoman and now poker player. Frankly, I am not nearly as good as I would like to be so I have goal to reach.
But most importantly, poker adds a dollop of drama to my otherwise middle-class, middle-age existence. I don’t need romance novels, cop TV shows, Angelina Jolie movies or even make-drama fights with my husband. Every game pits me against worthy adversaries and I either meet the challenge, aided or not by luck, or I fail and learn another lesson. I’m up against old geezers or young bucks, never knowing whether they have the goods or if they are bluffing. And I can bluff…am supposed to bluff. I can hide a good hand and the right touch of acting can reel someone into my trap. Yes.
But sometimes I lose. I’m a nit, an ATM, a donkey, a fish, or a mark. I’m on tilt.
Poker and what it gives me is a door to a fuller middle age. My coming years are no longer a dreaded time, but something I am anticipating. I intend to grow as a player and enjoy the learning curve.
Of course we have our favorite cards and as a woman, l associate with the queen of hearts. My door shows both sides of the queen. I have love from my husband, family and friends. I have luck illustrated by my radiant health, my amazing home and my gifts. I have also faced devastating loss. The flip side.
When life deals me a bad hand, I can survive because I know that patience will bring another hand. I want to keep the door open to new possibilities.

Annabelle Baker

Embracing Change

I am regularly surprised at my reluctance to embrace change, even if the result will likely be positive. These thoughts are coming up because we have been looking for a place to live for the winter. Of course we can rent, but the amazing real estate deals in Las Vegas have inspired us to look at buying something that will be a good place to live and will be a good investment.

Pat and I have been chanting the mantra, "simplify, simplify". Buying a place here will throw that way off. First of all, we will incur debt. We haven't had debt during our almost 23 years of marriage...maybe a little in Chicago, I forget. Second we will have to deal with the unknown problems of an HOA. (This is no little issue due to the high foreclosure rates here.) Third we will be obligated to return to Las Vegas year after year. Fourth we will have to buy lots of stuff to set up our home like furniture. The building I like the most due to it's location right near the prime poker rooms is very hotsy totsy. One thing that has happened to us during our many years living aboard Island Belle is that we've lost any hotsy or totsy that we had in Chicago.

We are still looking, but we made a short term decision to rent in the same extended stay hotel as last year. It is so "simple". We incur no debt. We buy no furniture. We make no commitment. We make no pretense. The drawbacks? It is a bit shabby, a bit cramped, not as secure, not as personal. We are not taking advantage of a good investment opportunity. We are not embracing change.

On the road to Las Vegas

With advice from Gary and the internet, we traveled through Reno on our way to Vegas. It was a hoot. First of all, we saw some beautiful country. Hit a little snow in the passes and made it in time to play 3 hours of Poker at the Peppermill. I was nervous because I hadn't played casino poker since last winter, but I was patient and disciplined and hit a few good cards. It also helped that we had a wild kid at the table that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and was on tilt. He tried to bluff me and I just didn't believe it. I had pocket aces, but a straight developed on the board and he bet big on the river. I thought I was going to be paying him off, but he didn't have the straight. My pocket aces were good and I went away a winner.

We didn't celebrate with the mini-bar. Notice the warning...if you even touch it, you will be charged. It reminded me of the time Mum and I went wild with the mini-bar in Wellington. We were tired from our road trip from Lib's and just couldn't resist.

We are now in a temporary place in Vegas. We rented it for a week so we could look for a place for the winter. It is a suite with a kitchen, but it has a hole cut between the living room and the bedroom so when Pat is trying to sleep, he can here me putzing around. Like right this minute, I am drinking tea instead of coffee because I didn't want to run the grinder. I like the facility...a great pool and good location. Even a view of the strip.

We are going to look at condos this afternoon. We would love to rent before we buy to really get to know the place, so hopefully that will solve our problems.

I hear some movement in the bedroom...time to grind the coffee.

Visit with Gary

We got off the ferry this morning and met Gary Smith for lunch. Due to facebook, we hooked up with Pat's father's family. Gary is Pat's first cousin that he has never met. They had a wonderful lunch catching up on the family, some amazing revelations and lots of good news. The best news is the longevity of Pat's two remaining uncles, Wilson and Ellisworth. Wilson is Gary's dad. We hope to reconnect with his other cousin, Roger who he hung out with when he was a kid on the farm in Nebraska. Roger lives in Nevada and we are headed in that direction. Tonight we are sleeping in Salem, Oregon...tomorrow the goal is Reno. It is such a challenge to face traffic. We sure appreciate our small town when we sat in the hours of traffic around rush hour Portland.

On the Ferry

We are on the ferry on our way to Bellingham. Our stop in Ketchikan was long so I had a chance to have a nice four mile run. I am looking forward to the half marathon in Las Vegas. The idea that they close down the strip and set up bands at each mile is so much fun. It doesn’t hurt that the course will be fairly flat and full of characters, like loads of folks dressed up like Elvis. Elvis is truly still alive in Las Vegas. That is one of the many reasons I love Vegas…tacky is okay. So much is done with a smile on one’s face for pleasure. People seem to live life very fully…. not always wisely, but fully.

A couple of days ago we processed the two deer that Pat and Dick (Dick pulled the trigger) shot. The meat is so beautiful, clean and low fat. Wear, Spy, Dick, Pat and I made short shift of the work. I started late due to a scheduled long (11mile) run with Mary, Andrea and Marlene. Wear is such a good hostess, providing food and coffee and all the needed equipment. We are lucky to be hunting partners with the Eides.

We are sending venison and halibut down when we get an address. With the duck, goose and canned smoked salmon we are bringing, our diet is going to be very healthy. I hope to use the four and half months in the desert as a time to get really healthy—lots of running, pilates (I need to find a good class) and good eating. Vitamin D will be had at the pool and if we can set up a good sleep pattern, 4am until noon, then I’ll be a happy camper. People don’t realize the advantage you can have at the poker table if you are feeling good. It is very like any competitive sport.

I ran into a glitch in my life plan before I left home. It threw me for a bigger loop than I realized. My oncologist, Dr. Kaplan, was consulted by my new gp, Alice Hulabek, about the continued use of my aromatase inhibitor, anastrozole, beyond the five year mark. I was all set up to quit at yearend and use the end of hormone therapy as the end of me being a cancer patient. The five year mark is a milestone for most cancer survivors…a real sign that a reoccurrence is unlikely to happen. I would also like to avoid the side effects, mostly hot flashes, and the unknown impacts of using a hormone altering drug for a long time. Well quitting is not in the near future because of the good, but incomplete, research going on that indicates it really makes a difference…even after five years. I pouted for a couple of days, refusing to buy the supply I would need in Vegas. It was almost a relief to finally buy the tiny little white pills. Thank goodness the patent expired..each pill cost $12 during the first 4 ½ years of my course ($372 a month, $4,464 a year, over $20,000 for tiny white pills). Now they are reasonable, 4 months for under $200. Another milestone I am going to make this year is that I won’t reach my medical insurance deductible…which is $10,000. Yay.

We just pulled away from the dock at Ketchikan and we are headed south through Dixon Entrance. It is a bit windy here, so we may do some rock and rolling. What better way to get in the Vegas mood.

Ava's photo on Library Poster

My granddaughter, Ava, took an art class at the library this summer. The library is trying to attract funds for their new library and they used her photo, among lots of others, to show what they do for the community. It was such a nice surprise to see her smiling face as I walked up the stairs to the library.

Back again after a very long hiatus

After a couple of years, I have decided to start up my blog again. While it was strictly about art in the past, now it will be about whatever is happening in my life. It will still be a way to share my art, but it will also be a way for me to connect with my family and record those things that inspire me. Hopefully some of those inspirations will turn into art in the future. My friend Susan gave me the kick-start I needed to get going again. We are leaving Petersburg in a few days by ferry. I look forward to the long, quiet days on the ocean. I have a whole suitcase full of books.