My walk to the poker room at the Aria

Every day I walk quickly through the most amazing sensory experience. I decided to bring you along today, at least for the visual part. Walk with me from the Bellagio to the Aria, part of the $8.5 billion City Center.

Counting My Blessings

Elizabeth Edwards died. She was a very visible breast cancer survivor during my diagnosis and fight. We were entirely different and exactly the same. She was a wealthy public figure with children and a cheating husband. She was a woman about my age with breast cancer. I was so disappointed to hear that her cancer had metastasized into her bones. It is my greatest fear. Because it happened to her, it could happen to me. I was so angry that her husband continued his self centered run for the presidency. Nothing she said changed my mind. During her very public humiliation and last days, she continued to speak about living life fully and richly. She will be missed.

When something like that happens, I take the time to count my blessings. I was feeling a little sorry for myself because I had a run of bad cards. BAD CARDS....how ridiculous that sounds in comparison to my good health, the health of my loved ones, my supportive and loving husband, the privilege of living in a warm place for the winter, food on the table and a bed to sleep in, a functioning brain and the joyful anticipation of a family reunion at Christmas.

Oh, and good food. We got our shipment of venison and halibut from home. It has been a joy to be eating such delicious and healthy fare.

It was recommended to me that I start out each day recounting five blessings. I had forgotten to keep up that practice. Coffee and blessings...(and some good cards).

Rock n Roll Run

There were huge crowds, probably 25,000 racers, but the Las Vegas Rock n Roll half and full Marathon was well organized. There were lines for everything, but they moved quickly. I was placed into a corral with other runners that planned to do the event in 11 minute miles. The elite runners started a full half hour before we did, but we were being entertained the whole time by a band imitating the Blues Brothers...so fun. Next time I need to wear some throw away warm clothes because I was a bit chilled by the time I started jogging. The temperature was a bit warm for running and cool for standing...close to 50 degrees until the sun hit us later. We wear a chip in our shoes that tells the timer when we cross the start line, so you are not penalized for starting late.

Lots of people wore costumes...God bless them. I find it enough to just do my thing in perfectly fitting, time tested clothes. These people are wearing chicken suits, Santa suits, bride and groom outfits (of course these folks actually tied the knot during the race) and of course lots and lots of Elvis costumes. Just think of wearing the wig...yuck. Most wore white, zip up the front jumpsuits. The most amazing was a guy in a Sponge Bob suit dressed up as Elvis.

I really took my time, listening to the bands and enjoying the freedom to run down the middle of the strip. About 4 miles into the race, two Petersburg marathoners found me. Brenda Norheim and Robin Parr came up behind me and it was so exhilarating. I kept up with them for a little more than seven miles. They are in fantastic shape, the result of a huge commitment in time and effort. I needed to let them go ahead around mile eleven and I only found out later that they both finished in wonderful time of approximately 11 minute miles. Running with someone is a real gift...the miles just fly by. The last couple of miles for me were tough. Thank goodness the music was there and the Mandalay Bay finish line visible for miles. I was given lots of goodies and liquids and a nice finishers medal at the end. I sat for an hour with the crowd in the sun watching the winners, including the wheel chair participants get their awards.

My time ended up being 2:21:16 for 10:47 per mile. I was very happy with the time and today I feel pretty good. My body was tired...as soon as I got home, I fell asleep for an hour. I feel so privileged that my body allows me to run. It helps in so many ways...with weight and energy and more than anything, with mental health.

Sins in Sin City

Tomorrow is the big day. I am entered in the Rock N' Roll Half Marathon. All the hoopla has me nervous, despite the fact I am just doing this for a hoot. I am not trying to go fast or get a qualifying time or win my age group. Strangely for me, I am just going with the flow.

Things have been so busy because my to-do list is so long. I spent more than an hour in frustration trying to upgrade to a smart phone. The person at Best Buy, a dealer for AT&T got a strange error message and then talked to an AT&T rep for over half an hour before they concluded that I had to go into a corporate store because my sim card was from Cell One (which was purchased by AT&T). An hour it took to find this out. I love what technology provides us...but it comes at a high price.

At the poker table, people used to chat. Of course they sometime still do...especially when they hear I am from Alaska. They inevitably want my opinion of Sarah Palin. It is frustrating because she is so divisive. People hate her or love her and I, frankly, find her uninteresting. I think she was a good govenor and rooted out the corruption of the Murkowski administration. I think she should have served out her term despite the harrassment she was getting with the frivolous lawsuits. She wasn't effective after her run for the vice presidency and probably did the people of Alaska a service by quitting. I still don't like a quitter.

See...I was going to complain about how smart phones become the focus of live poker players so they don't interact with each other and Sarah Palin got in the way. I still want one...a smart phone that is. I can just see me staring at the little screen watching Glee instead of paying attention at the table.

Last night, after more than six hours of play, I was up $62. There was some drama that got me there...I tried to bluff a guy and lost over $100...and I hit a full house on the flop that developed into quads and I recovered. I'm pretty sure I didn't need that fourth six. Pat was not happy because his table wasn't letting him come back from some bad cards and he wanted to move from the Wynn to the Venetian. I had no problem with that so over we went for our last hour of play.

Did I misplay this hand? I had pocket nines and called a $25 reraise because I was the fifth caller and we ended up with six for a pot of $150 pre-flop. The flop was King, nine, rag--all hearts. It was checked to me with one player behind. I had $150 left and I went all-in. I was called by one guy. We turned our cards over and he had a king and an Ace of hearts. I was ahead, but he had lots of outs which he hit on the turn...a three of hearts. My pair that would make me a full house did not come so I lost my stack.

Should I have let him draw to his heart for free? Should I have been more wary of the flush? Was I going to have to call anyway to draw to my full house? I would have been able to get away after the heart came on the turn and therefore reduced my losses if I had just made a strong bet at the pot (which would have been called).

Here is the heart-breaking hand that happened 15 minutes later against the same guy. I raise to $11 in early position with pocket rockets. I get 4 callers. The flop is Ace, rag, nine, double suited. I bet $20 and the villain goes all in. I am elated, except that he knocks out everyone else. I call and he turns over trip nines. I show my aces and the turn is nothing and the river is the one outer---a nine. Sick!!!! There goes another two hundred dollars. I am seriously on tilt.

In about an hour I lose $362 for a night's loss of exactly $300. I wish I had gone home.

Part of the reason I want the smart phone is so I can immediately write down the hands that I want to review. I find that my memory of the hand is inadequate for me to give a fair assessment of my play, so I need to write down the details at the table. Everyone will think I busy texting my friends, when in fact I will be evaluating and learning (instead of tilting...I hope).

No poker for me tonight...early to bed and early to rise so I can go jogging with 20,000 of my best friends.

No Sleep for the Wicked

We went to bed early last night, about 2am. Pat wasn't feeling well due to his lingering cold, so he needed to keep to our 1am deadline to leave the poker table. I was behind and reluctant to leave because we tally up our score, our wins or loses, at the end of each session. I hate to lose. This aspect of my personality has helped me be a success in many areas like athletics and school, but has hurt me in the sleeping/stress department. Perhaps it has also been a negative factor in some of my relationships. Hating to lose equates to hating to be wrong.

Hating to lose is a good thing if you are a poker player. So I was stuck for about $200 and the witching hour had passed while I was chatting with Eloise on her last night in Vegas. Pat was stacking his chips and I begged him for four more hands...just like a child negotiating with their parent. To be fair to Pat, he said he would go on home ahead and that I should stay if I wanted. I knew it would be better to leave so I stayed for "four more". Fold, fold, fold and then suited Queen-Ten, hearts. I had folded queen ten earlier in the night in a raised pot with lots of callers where I was clearly priced in, but feeling card dead. The earlier hand would have been a huge pot and I berated myself for the bad play. So this time I was going to play...and it was my last hand. Well I hit the flop perfectly...the flop was Ace, King, Jack with two diamonds. I had the nuts. I didn't like the diamonds but felt I might get a caller with them so I bet out and was called by one low stakes pro. The turn was a rag (not a diamond) and I bet big, $50 into an $80 pot. He min raised (another $50) and I called. The river was also a rag so I still had the nuts and went all in with the little I had left, but I had him covered. He called and showed his Ace-King. He had flopped top two pair and that explained his actions. I walked away with a $441 pot which covered my buy in of $400 and gave me a profit of $41 for the night.

The night before at the Bellagio, I also had a huge hand that tripled me up ten minutes before we were scheduled to leave. Luck is a huge factor in the short term profitability of a poker player. I would love to evolve into the kind of player where it is not as important.

So why am I awake after only six hours of sleep? My head was spinning about all the things going on...to buy a condo or not? Setting up the computer so Pat can work. My half-marathon on Sunday. My reliance on luck. Getting a new smart phone. Christmas presents for the grand-kids. Writing a note to Michelle. Eating too many carbs. Actually, there is no good reason.












I made the Alaskans stand in the sun...they are obviously not used to it.

Drama Queen

I wanted to share my piece and the artist statement I completed in September for the annual invitational art show, this year entitled "A Curiosity of Doors." The work is acrylic on a wooden door, with watercolor on paper behind the glass of the door's window.




“Drama Queen”

During the last couple of years, I have become a serious poker player. My game is cash Texas Hold’em. The joy I get out of the game has even surprised me. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I play so avidly and I can only surmise that it comes from the fact that each game contains a novel’s worth of drama.
Yes, poker challenges my brain. It makes me think both mathematically and psychologically. My ageing brain needs the workout to stay even. It is frightening to age and lose that part that makes us ourselves. Poker is my brain workout.
Yes, poker serves the need I have to compete. I am unabashedly competitive. This part of me has made me a successful athlete, scholar, businesswoman and now poker player. Frankly, I am not nearly as good as I would like to be so I have goal to reach.
But most importantly, poker adds a dollop of drama to my otherwise middle-class, middle-age existence. I don’t need romance novels, cop TV shows, Angelina Jolie movies or even make-drama fights with my husband. Every game pits me against worthy adversaries and I either meet the challenge, aided or not by luck, or I fail and learn another lesson. I’m up against old geezers or young bucks, never knowing whether they have the goods or if they are bluffing. And I can bluff…am supposed to bluff. I can hide a good hand and the right touch of acting can reel someone into my trap. Yes.
But sometimes I lose. I’m a nit, an ATM, a donkey, a fish, or a mark. I’m on tilt.
Poker and what it gives me is a door to a fuller middle age. My coming years are no longer a dreaded time, but something I am anticipating. I intend to grow as a player and enjoy the learning curve.
Of course we have our favorite cards and as a woman, l associate with the queen of hearts. My door shows both sides of the queen. I have love from my husband, family and friends. I have luck illustrated by my radiant health, my amazing home and my gifts. I have also faced devastating loss. The flip side.
When life deals me a bad hand, I can survive because I know that patience will bring another hand. I want to keep the door open to new possibilities.

Annabelle Baker

Embracing Change

I am regularly surprised at my reluctance to embrace change, even if the result will likely be positive. These thoughts are coming up because we have been looking for a place to live for the winter. Of course we can rent, but the amazing real estate deals in Las Vegas have inspired us to look at buying something that will be a good place to live and will be a good investment.

Pat and I have been chanting the mantra, "simplify, simplify". Buying a place here will throw that way off. First of all, we will incur debt. We haven't had debt during our almost 23 years of marriage...maybe a little in Chicago, I forget. Second we will have to deal with the unknown problems of an HOA. (This is no little issue due to the high foreclosure rates here.) Third we will be obligated to return to Las Vegas year after year. Fourth we will have to buy lots of stuff to set up our home like furniture. The building I like the most due to it's location right near the prime poker rooms is very hotsy totsy. One thing that has happened to us during our many years living aboard Island Belle is that we've lost any hotsy or totsy that we had in Chicago.

We are still looking, but we made a short term decision to rent in the same extended stay hotel as last year. It is so "simple". We incur no debt. We buy no furniture. We make no commitment. We make no pretense. The drawbacks? It is a bit shabby, a bit cramped, not as secure, not as personal. We are not taking advantage of a good investment opportunity. We are not embracing change.

On the road to Las Vegas

With advice from Gary and the internet, we traveled through Reno on our way to Vegas. It was a hoot. First of all, we saw some beautiful country. Hit a little snow in the passes and made it in time to play 3 hours of Poker at the Peppermill. I was nervous because I hadn't played casino poker since last winter, but I was patient and disciplined and hit a few good cards. It also helped that we had a wild kid at the table that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and was on tilt. He tried to bluff me and I just didn't believe it. I had pocket aces, but a straight developed on the board and he bet big on the river. I thought I was going to be paying him off, but he didn't have the straight. My pocket aces were good and I went away a winner.

We didn't celebrate with the mini-bar. Notice the warning...if you even touch it, you will be charged. It reminded me of the time Mum and I went wild with the mini-bar in Wellington. We were tired from our road trip from Lib's and just couldn't resist.

We are now in a temporary place in Vegas. We rented it for a week so we could look for a place for the winter. It is a suite with a kitchen, but it has a hole cut between the living room and the bedroom so when Pat is trying to sleep, he can here me putzing around. Like right this minute, I am drinking tea instead of coffee because I didn't want to run the grinder. I like the facility...a great pool and good location. Even a view of the strip.

We are going to look at condos this afternoon. We would love to rent before we buy to really get to know the place, so hopefully that will solve our problems.

I hear some movement in the bedroom...time to grind the coffee.

Visit with Gary

We got off the ferry this morning and met Gary Smith for lunch. Due to facebook, we hooked up with Pat's father's family. Gary is Pat's first cousin that he has never met. They had a wonderful lunch catching up on the family, some amazing revelations and lots of good news. The best news is the longevity of Pat's two remaining uncles, Wilson and Ellisworth. Wilson is Gary's dad. We hope to reconnect with his other cousin, Roger who he hung out with when he was a kid on the farm in Nebraska. Roger lives in Nevada and we are headed in that direction. Tonight we are sleeping in Salem, Oregon...tomorrow the goal is Reno. It is such a challenge to face traffic. We sure appreciate our small town when we sat in the hours of traffic around rush hour Portland.

On the Ferry

We are on the ferry on our way to Bellingham. Our stop in Ketchikan was long so I had a chance to have a nice four mile run. I am looking forward to the half marathon in Las Vegas. The idea that they close down the strip and set up bands at each mile is so much fun. It doesn’t hurt that the course will be fairly flat and full of characters, like loads of folks dressed up like Elvis. Elvis is truly still alive in Las Vegas. That is one of the many reasons I love Vegas…tacky is okay. So much is done with a smile on one’s face for pleasure. People seem to live life very fully…. not always wisely, but fully.

A couple of days ago we processed the two deer that Pat and Dick (Dick pulled the trigger) shot. The meat is so beautiful, clean and low fat. Wear, Spy, Dick, Pat and I made short shift of the work. I started late due to a scheduled long (11mile) run with Mary, Andrea and Marlene. Wear is such a good hostess, providing food and coffee and all the needed equipment. We are lucky to be hunting partners with the Eides.

We are sending venison and halibut down when we get an address. With the duck, goose and canned smoked salmon we are bringing, our diet is going to be very healthy. I hope to use the four and half months in the desert as a time to get really healthy—lots of running, pilates (I need to find a good class) and good eating. Vitamin D will be had at the pool and if we can set up a good sleep pattern, 4am until noon, then I’ll be a happy camper. People don’t realize the advantage you can have at the poker table if you are feeling good. It is very like any competitive sport.

I ran into a glitch in my life plan before I left home. It threw me for a bigger loop than I realized. My oncologist, Dr. Kaplan, was consulted by my new gp, Alice Hulabek, about the continued use of my aromatase inhibitor, anastrozole, beyond the five year mark. I was all set up to quit at yearend and use the end of hormone therapy as the end of me being a cancer patient. The five year mark is a milestone for most cancer survivors…a real sign that a reoccurrence is unlikely to happen. I would also like to avoid the side effects, mostly hot flashes, and the unknown impacts of using a hormone altering drug for a long time. Well quitting is not in the near future because of the good, but incomplete, research going on that indicates it really makes a difference…even after five years. I pouted for a couple of days, refusing to buy the supply I would need in Vegas. It was almost a relief to finally buy the tiny little white pills. Thank goodness the patent expired..each pill cost $12 during the first 4 ½ years of my course ($372 a month, $4,464 a year, over $20,000 for tiny white pills). Now they are reasonable, 4 months for under $200. Another milestone I am going to make this year is that I won’t reach my medical insurance deductible…which is $10,000. Yay.

We just pulled away from the dock at Ketchikan and we are headed south through Dixon Entrance. It is a bit windy here, so we may do some rock and rolling. What better way to get in the Vegas mood.

Ava's photo on Library Poster

My granddaughter, Ava, took an art class at the library this summer. The library is trying to attract funds for their new library and they used her photo, among lots of others, to show what they do for the community. It was such a nice surprise to see her smiling face as I walked up the stairs to the library.

Back again after a very long hiatus

After a couple of years, I have decided to start up my blog again. While it was strictly about art in the past, now it will be about whatever is happening in my life. It will still be a way to share my art, but it will also be a way for me to connect with my family and record those things that inspire me. Hopefully some of those inspirations will turn into art in the future. My friend Susan gave me the kick-start I needed to get going again. We are leaving Petersburg in a few days by ferry. I look forward to the long, quiet days on the ocean. I have a whole suitcase full of books.